Hi, I'm 22 (nearly 23), am unemployed and I live at home with my parents. I'm not proud of it either.
I graduated University in the summer of 2012 and alongside nearly every other graduate in the country I've been looking for work ever since. I had to ditch the flat I was living in because I couldn't afford the rent, and move back home. I've been here 9 months and in that time I've had one big internship and taken on a handful of voluntary jobs as well as one retail job that recently came to an end.
I'm not meaning to sound selfish, I'm very appreciative that my parents let me move back in and have been financially supporting me through the tough times. Particularly with my current situation of health vs work.
But I can't help but feel ashamed when I tell people that I'm still having to live at home.
I've always wanted my own independence, I've always felt more mature than my years and have dreamed of having my own place somewhere that would make me say "Yeah, this is my place and I can pay for it all by myself, do my own washing, have whoever I want round and stay in bed until 3pm without feeling guilty." But right now I just feel like I get that sympathetic look every time someone finds out I live with my parents. Like I'm not quite ready to be a grown up and I don't fit in with those I surround myself with.
And don't even get me started on my love life.
I think the part I am struggling with is that I don't know when this will end. I'm fed up and I'm fed up of feeling fed up. I know I deserve more, I know I can do more and I want to be the person I know I can be, but I just feel so held back with everything right now.
With my PMA taking a knock, I need to find some inspiration to get me back out into the big wide world. All suggestions welcome.
Don't beat yourself up about still living with your parents at 22/23. The world has changed, and the idea of moving out after uni and landing The Big Job™ is not realistic anymore. Rent prices and job availability are not compatable. After all, we are now living in a recession.
ReplyDeleteI didn't move out till I was around 24, and that was temporary. I spent the next few years moving out and having to return to my Mum's for the next few years, till my wage was good enough for me to self sustain. All of my friends were in the same situation. We are in a generation where we are worst off that our parents. But there is no shame in living at home still, especially if you get on with your folks. See it as a means to an end - somewhere to base camp whilst you sort out the next big step - employment, career and all that comes after. Looking back, I'm very thankful I had a safe roof to live under while I fought for jobs, went for interviews and did shitty paid placements. Doing all that in a crap flat that takes all my money would have been far far worse. Be patient, it will happen.
In terms of making it happen. Be proactive in your employment applications, if you have to get a part time job on the side, see it as that. Something to pay the bills for a few months, and if you really want to get your own place- look at your friends - sharing with three mates or so can be a fun and financially cheap option till you have a steady wage and better options.
And remember - no where does it day you have to have The Career and The Home by a certain age. The only person who puts that pressure on you is yourself.
Good luck amigo
I can completely understand why you feel the way you do.. I feel exactly the same way! But it's actually totally fine that you are where you are and I don't think you have any reason to feel ashamed.
ReplyDeleteI feel like in this day and age we're all raised with these set expectations of how our lives are going to turn out and actually as you grow up and begin to get used to everything, you realise that actually everything you had one thought you'd do is completely unreasonable! The price to rent at the moment is appalling and only getting worse, especially in places like London where I'm assuming you want to be, so don't beat yourself up about not being able to afford anywhere. Take advantage of the fact for now that your parents are there! I am!
Hopefully the younger generation will see the struggle now and soon these unrealistic standards of the timeline of your life will start to fade away, its just a shame we're having to deal with feeling like this now!
Hope that made SOME sense. good luck munchkin. X